To live...

I try to live a life without regret. To take 'bad' things or 'bad' choices, learn from them and be thankful for the things I see in life that may not have happened if I hadn't made the choices I did. To see how good can come out of the bad. But perhaps for the first time in my life I've hit a point where I don't really know how to do that. At all.

If I really work at it I can line events up and see how some of the 'good,' the blessings I have may not have occured or occured in the same way if things hadn't happened the way they did. But it's not enough. The cost was too high.

How do you not regret? How do you get to that point where you can just accept?

How can you live a life where you won't make the same mistakes you've made before without living a life that's barred?



Well, I've been home for over two weeks now, and I know this is not one of those choices that I'll continue to ponder about. As beautiful as many of the moments were that I had while away there is not a mountain peak in all of Korea that could make me want to trade in some of the moments I shared with my two brothers who were visiting, my niece, and my family here in Moncton. God is good. I believe I came close to not making it home - not making it anywhere at all ever again and I think through the prayers of a friend (and probably the prayers of all the people back home) I am alive today...perhaps I'll expand on that later. And as I'm writing and thinking of that I think about fate and choice and free will, the lessons our lives teach us if we're willing to learn...regret can have it's purposes too - whether I will ever be thankful for it, and let go of all the rest - I don't know. But I know it will be used - and I can be thankful for that.